I was born late September 1964 in Evesham Hospital. I believe we spent 10 days in hospital (normal then) and I know my Mum stayed in a Mother and Baby Home in Malvern - possibly Barsham house. Would she have gone to the home before having me or only after having given birth? She worked for Austin Motor Company so would she have physically continued to work? My Mum was an only child and her parents offered to help support us if she decided that she wanted to keep me. Mum was just 20 when she had me but did keep me. She and my Birth Father had already split up when she discovered she was pregnant. He did pay minimal maintenance for me until I was adopted by Mum 's husband (my Dad) when I was 16. They met when I was 5 and married when I was 7. I met my birth Father when I was in my 40's but he died aged 71. I also found out 2 of my Godparents were great friends with him. My Auntie had kept photos of when they were younger should I ever want to see them, They I once watched a program on single Mothers in Mother and Baby homes. They were treated like 2nd class citizens and naughty girls that as a female myself I found heart breaking. I have never really discussed any of this with Mum and now aged 76 she has vascular dementia and Alzeimers so will never be able to find out anything more. How long did the women tend to stay in the homes? My Mum did say they were marched to Church on Sundays to pray for forgiveness. Would love to hear more about what life was like for these poor Mum's. I went to school with many girls who were adopted
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I would like to clarify that all these years since my feelings were not about shame or guilt but anger. I never accepted the values being used against me, rather I learnt to mistrust the authorities. The previous year at college I had enjoyed the enlightened teaching of a young sociology teacher and I’ve never forgotten her. She revealed to me the way the press operated and the imbalance of power in society.
Like most social engineering via the government, church and, in the case of children of the poor, with the support of charities, the important component is ‘othering’.
A deliberate misrepresentation of mothers was essential, especially I would think in order to assuage any guilt of the adoptive parents and society in general. This attitude prevails.
We are still ‘outsiders’.
There was a deliberate withholding of information by state and church re alternatives, especially that of financial support, and a deliberate manipulation of vulnerable women and their parents sense of value and agency by this abuse of their power.
This was psychological coercion by the authorities using isolation, undermining self worth, shaming etc etc
Imagine the outrage via press coverage if this was taking place in China today.....
’Moral welfare’ was a dog whistle description - if you didn’t agree with their judgement then - ergo - you were immoral! The authorities were still peddling the Victorian mentality of punishing ‘fallen women’ and perpetuating the discipline of the workhouse. Social workers as we know them today didn’t exist and the systemic abuse by moral welfare workers on behalf of their church governors was not scrutinised.
There was no interest in my moral welfare before, during or after pregnancy. It was a total sham.
(They were still exporting young children in care to Australia and elsewhere right up the 1970s. They were a free labour force. Frequently these children were told that their parents were dead - not true!!!)
There was no evidence of the unsuitability of mother’s required, the important factor was their being ‘unwed’.
Thankfully Gingerbread was formed soon after, divorce laws relaxed, the pill made available to single women, safe abortion made more accessible and suddenly the supply of babies dried up. Scapegoating of single parents never really went away though; everyday sexism is alive and well.
The trauma that we mothers endured is still being ignored in the 21st century. The government is probably waiting until we’re all dead before they’ll apologise.